Reading this made my tears well up.
How ibu always fumes up whenever I tell her /parts/ of my stress, and concludes to “Do whatever makes you feel happy, don’t stress yourself. Relax when you need to. Let people understand you by telling them what you’re feeling – you need to speak up. & don’t forget your meals.”
I feel like a terrible person for still not being able to cope with much stress even after listening to what ibu says as above time and again/whenever i share with her parts and pieces of whats in my head.
If you know me well enough, you’ve probably gotten used to me complaining of having a headache. I used to have it all the time & i’ll be the most excited person when i don’t have one. I used to countdown to the days, even. The longest throbbing migraine i had lasted for 7 days 7 nights – i was still stressing myself even further by turning up at work, attending night classes and overthinking 24/7. It lasted even right before i slept and the moment i woke up. Other kind-er days, my head just resolved to floating in air, feeling very light.
But slowly i’ve learnt to prioritize. When i can’t handle crazy unexpected situations, i’ll just laugh it off. When work gets too tensed, i’ll goof around. When i relax, i blank out and force as much to not think. When i have dinner after work, i will shut off any topics and matters of work my colleagues might have come up with. I choose what i want to think. I pick the food for my soul wisely. I dedicate the time to feed certain things to my mind. & I care for it, as a part of the crucial me, and as an amanah from Allah swt.
Back to the article from the lady in the screenshots above, she passed on after writing that heartfelt letter. (Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun.. Allahummaghfirlaha warhamha..)
Not only had she left an impact on her daughter in years to come, but to us, wandering souls who obliviously torture our capabilities as weak and mere humans. We can be strong, but we need to see the red lights. For any ferrari can hit and crash if it drives straight to a dead end wall. Respect yourself enough to know when to stop, pause, and reflect. Make amendments if you need to.
Do whatever is good for you. For Him. For your parents. For the ummah.